My First Day with the New Offred

Sometimes I wish my life was different. I wish I was a Commander, so that I may be assigned my own handmaiden. They seem to be so graceful, and full of poise. We received another today, and this one makes me aware of my appearance. I know I must look shabby in my Guardian's uniform, I am aware of every stain, every rip. My frame is not considered tall at 5'10", but I am definitely taller than her. The beret that we are assigned I usually angle across my light brown hair, though now I feel that it brings to much attention to my French face, picturesque with my greenish hazel eyes.

I know I will think about this later, run it over and over in my head, later. She is different. I long to have my free time, I yearn for the silence and peace that it brings. I enjoy being able to have that small amount of time to myself, so that I may do whatever pleases me. I generally dream, though occasionally I will read, or write. The Commander occasionally produces old books, now outlawed, or gives me paper to record my thoughts. If either are found then I will surely be punished, but I enjoy it anyways.

The time used for dreaming though, is definitely put to the best use. This is a hobby of mine, I dream whenever possible. There is little else to do, but even less time to do it. My dreams are short, and I consistently find myself dreaming about being a Commander, but that is only so that I may have women. I dream of having handmaids, but who is interchangeable. I know that today my dreams will be occupied with the most recent version of Offred.