First Official Meeting of Offred

I love it when life is going on normally, I know what to expect, what not to, I have my routine, and it doesn't change. I hate it when this balance is messed up, but am willing to forgive the cause. Offred is driving me somewhat crazy. She is similar to other handmaids, graceful, full of poise, but she is also unlike them. The others seem to be shy, and willing to do whatever, which I think is just plain gross. I would at least attempt to rebel in an attempt to avoid having sex with the Commanders. The Commanders are what turn me off the idea, as they are old fat things, unlikely of getting someone pregnant in the first place. I don't see how and girl would willingly subject herself to that type of torture, even though they don't really have a choice.

Offred though is different. She seems to be rebelling within, feeling and doing small things of rebellion. Today was when we first "met", and by that I mean noticed each other. She was on her way out, and I was washing the car. As she walked past, her head lifted, and eye contact was made. I couldn't help it. I winked. When she gasped and ducked her head, I grinned, now knowing what flustered her. She is definitely different from the others. Someone once said that forbidden fruit is the sweetest, and while I was hesitant before, I am inclined to believe them. She is tempts like none other with her submissive rebellion, and my thoughts are full of her.

My First Day with the New Offred

Sometimes I wish my life was different. I wish I was a Commander, so that I may be assigned my own handmaiden. They seem to be so graceful, and full of poise. We received another today, and this one makes me aware of my appearance. I know I must look shabby in my Guardian's uniform, I am aware of every stain, every rip. My frame is not considered tall at 5'10", but I am definitely taller than her. The beret that we are assigned I usually angle across my light brown hair, though now I feel that it brings to much attention to my French face, picturesque with my greenish hazel eyes.

I know I will think about this later, run it over and over in my head, later. She is different. I long to have my free time, I yearn for the silence and peace that it brings. I enjoy being able to have that small amount of time to myself, so that I may do whatever pleases me. I generally dream, though occasionally I will read, or write. The Commander occasionally produces old books, now outlawed, or gives me paper to record my thoughts. If either are found then I will surely be punished, but I enjoy it anyways.

The time used for dreaming though, is definitely put to the best use. This is a hobby of mine, I dream whenever possible. There is little else to do, but even less time to do it. My dreams are short, and I consistently find myself dreaming about being a Commander, but that is only so that I may have women. I dream of having handmaids, but who is interchangeable. I know that today my dreams will be occupied with the most recent version of Offred.